"Cows in the morning, cows in the morning, one two three, up and at'em, up and at'em, with a pick" Black Books Bloopers Season 1

Dear diary...
Today I found a stick up my crack...
How peculiar....

Dear diary...
[Back to the flashback]
I could feel the heat eminating both from him and the volcano.. It was mesmerizing..
I was watching him intently as he got down on his belly, nose facing the warm volcano ash..
He looked up at me with his one beautiful big puppy eye.. And I was enthralled..
He asked me a simple question: "will you shave my back?"
"Yes yes yes!" I exclaimed
He smiled at me with his hillbilly teeth..
All of a sudden the volcano errupted and as the lava was running down like a waterfall, he asked me to be his flubber lover..
[End of flashback]
*happy sigh*

Dear diary..
How can I describe how I feel today...?
The only thing that comes close, is the day my Jelly Bear asked me to be his Meatpie..
[Flashback]
I remember the day we met, a cold and grey day, grey yet cold day.
I felt a stick up my crack, took it out, saw no-one and chucked the stick away.. I carried on walking, and once again a stick up my crack..
When I turned around, there he was.. The Jelly Bear with his fur, flowing like rApunZel's chin hair...
Oh damn.. Ran out of time.. Need to buy me some smaller clothes..

Song from afar

“I live alone in a tree, I live alone in a tree, I live alone in a tree, and nobody loves me”

Bibliography

To clear up any plagiarism and not to insult anybody with the name Salami, this is a fictional blog created to bring together writers on a simple project. This is the diary of Silly Salami, like the piece of meat you can buy. If you can relate to any of her stories, please stop reading, because you, my friend, are an Idiot.


All references will be posted here:
"I live alone in a tree..-"Black Books Bloopers season 1